Darwin Awards

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   Darwin Awards 2005
>
>The Darwin Awards are given to those who, by virtue of heroic acts of
>stupidity, endeavour to remove themselves from the gene pool.
>
>
>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
>bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
>winners:
>
>
>
>1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>during
>a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
>something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
>the trigger again. This time it worked.....  And now, the honourable
>mentions:
>
>
>
>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
>to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
>The chef's claim was approved.
>
>
>
>3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
>a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
>the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
>
>
>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
>Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
>driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
>staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>
>
>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
>wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
>injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
>could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>
>
>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
>and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
>a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
>provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
>bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
>(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
>
>
>
>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>he'd
>just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
>and
>run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the
>window.
>The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
>knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
>The
>whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>
>
>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
>her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
>to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
>police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
>the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
>for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
>the lady I stole the purse from."
>
>
>
>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
>King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
>register
>without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
>weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
>
>
>******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
>
>
>
>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
>Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
>the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
>spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
>steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
>tank
>by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that
>it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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naughtynorm Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 05 January 2006 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 182	Post Options Post Reply Quote naughtynorm Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Darwin Awards Posted: 08 January 2006 at 23:42
	Darwin Awards 2005 > >The Darwin Awards are given to those who, by virtue of heroic acts of >stupidity, endeavour to remove themselves from the gene pool. > > >Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are >bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious >winners: > > > >1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim >during >a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did >something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried >the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honourable >mentions: > > > >2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting >machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his >insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men >to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. >The chef's claim was approved. > > > >3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during >a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken >the space. Understandably, he shot her. > > > >4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver >found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from >Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the >driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free >ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the >staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. >The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. > > > >5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head >wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the >injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he >could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. > > > >6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, >and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled >a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly >provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 >bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. >(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) > > > >7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that >he'd >just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, >and >run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the >window. >The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, >knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. >The >whole event was caught on videotape. > > > >8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed >her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able >to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the >police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to >the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there >for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's >the lady I stole the purse from." > > > >9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger >King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. >The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash >register >without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they >weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. > > > >****A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*** > > > >10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a >Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at >the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near >spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to >steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage >tank >by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that >it was the best laugh he'd ever had.